Yippie! Yippie!! I’m here again. Told you no more long breaks. So today, our discourse is on the question WHO AM I? Now, this is not a review of Hillsong’s rendition. Let’s say this is my medium of welcoming you to April😆
Growing up, I heard a lot of awful words around. Everywhere you turn, someone has a terrible name to call another. Mothers do not spare their children nor their spouses, fathers do not spare their family as well, friends have turned it to the norms, and neighbors do not even care. They will say whatever they want to say.
To date, this anomaly still thrives heavily in our midst, or let me say on this side of the world where I am. People see nothing wrong in uttering expletives and invectives to one another. It is so pitiful to the extent that as young as a 2-year-old is, he/she indulges in this oddity with a full chest.
Over the years, these words have formed a basis in your heart, and dislodging them is proving a herculean task. You’ve tried over and over again but you can’t get past that name you have been branded or that attribute that has been hammered into your ears time and time again. The more you take steps to debunk those words, the voices in your head keep countering you reminding you of all the negativity that has been associated with your name and how difficult it will be to break free. All the energy you’ve roused up fizzles out in a matter of minutes as you keep figuring out who you truly are.
Recently, I learned something if you do not tell people how to treat you, they will treat you anyhow they want. Putting this in context now, if you do not know who you want to be or who you are, people will impose an image on you and it will stick to you for as long as you live. If you already have such an image, then this is especially for you.
No matter where the words are coming from, reject them. Now, this can be somehow tricky because it does come from close quarters. You do not have to allow anyone to cause a detriment to you no matter who they are. You also do not have to insult them. Nah. Oftentimes, they do that because they do not know better. Let’s take a few illustrations here.
- A woman in an abusive/unhappy marriage doesn’t know how best to express her frustrations but to channel them into unprintable words and speak those words to those around her including her kids. She sees the kids as an extension of their father and as such pattern her hurts to them.
- A child who grew up in an environment where being uncouth is the order of the day will invariably tow that path too. I once overheard some children in my neighborhood while they were at play one day. The expletives those children used that day were more than enough for 5 adults in a hot brawl. They uttered words far above their ages and inclination. I couldn’t help but wonder where all these will lead us as a society.
- A man who can’t seem to get over his inner struggles utters words carelessly and care less whose ox is gored. He feels demeaning others with his words will make him a bigger person, a man, a macho, an authority!
And so the cycle goes on. A frustrated man leads a frustrated family. A disillusioned woman tends a disillusioned home and a child from a whacky home turns whacky.
So, What do I make of this?
You have no control over what has happened or what names you have been called but you have control over what you allow to get to you and what is yet to happen to you. I have had my fair share of this way of life too. I’ve moved through the cycle of shock to hurt to anger over and over again. None of them will give you the solution you are looking for because the solution is in your hands.
You determine what you want to happen in your life. You can accept that way of life or live above it. You can decide to wallow in the mire of self-pity or you pick yourself up and call forth who you are. Earlier this year, we discussed something along these lines, read here. https://farajacraftcircle.com.ng/blog/confessions/
So to the big question: WHO AM I?
Who are you?
- Are you daft as your aunt once said or you’re intelligent?
- Are you cursed as your mum once mentioned in passing, or you are blessed and a conduit of blessing to others?
- Are you burdened with the worst body type or you have a body the world is blessed to have?
- Are you a source of sorrow or a source of joy?
In the end, it is what you make of yourself that you truly are. Now that the light of these words has shined on you, take them and be a better individual. Refuse to join the ongoing madness and refrain from uncouth conversation. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.
Till I come your way again, may the good lord keep you and yours.