It’s Father’s Day. A day worthy of reflection on the essence of Fatherhood. Do check here https://farajacraftcircle.com.ng/blog/being-a-fantastic-father-a-mirage-or-a-milestone/ for my post released to that effect. This is a sequel to that post and it’s all about random thoughts about father figures in my life.
To celebrate this auspicious occasion, I’ll just be picking some random events in no particular order from the men in my life.
01 PERFECT JOLLOF
I was still in my Junior Secondary School then. As at then, there were days students in private schools do not go to school while those in public schools go. I think this particular day was a NAPPS holiday or so. My eldest brother had come home on a brief visit and was aghast that my mum had left me home alone with no cooked food. She was a teacher in a government-owned school. All my explanations that I’m now a certified chef fell on deaf ears and he took it upon himself to prepare a mouth-watering delicacy for me. I ate the rice with pride and enjoyed my last born benefit to its peak.
02 GALA COMBO
It was the festive season and I was sick. So sick to the extent I wasn’t eating well. Everyone was worried and my eldest brother called and was like “Kilofe kin ba e rawa?” (What do you want me to buy for you). The shy me now said “Gala”. Reflecting on that, I think cravings were seriously at work then cos Gala of all things to buy from Lagos🙄. Bottom line, I ate the Gala and did Father Christmas with it too.
03 ICE CREAM
For the first 2 decades of my life, the bulk of the ice cream I ever took was bought by my eldest brother. My Booda Ope. The first one was in Lagos. My cousins then were teasing me for being a village girl who doesn’t take ice cream and Baba took me to KFC and bought a big cone for me. Funny enough, I was longing for a sachet of fanmilk that day under the scorching sun. Only to end up with a big cone all to myself. Talk about waiting for God’s time.
I missed the Lagos experience with him. Daystar Church, book discussions. He encourages me to read and read wide. We’re both book worms. He is never without a hard copy book! Never ever!
04 ETISALAT AMBASSADOR
The phones I ever used except this present one was bought by my eldest brother. My mates at GLMC then do teasingly ask if I work at Etisalat. I changed those small phones like earpieces. It was a big girl thing in all those Saturday lessons.
05 HOLDING THE FORTH
I lost my biological father when I was just a few months above 5. It was tough. It was hard. It was hectic. But this fine young man was there. Holding the forth. Keeping us together. I could almost hear everyone’s version of ” Booda Ope” as I type this. I’m not very close with my Booda Ope but I know I have a father in him. On days he insists we stroll, it almost feels like it’s with Booda Mike again.
06 MY CEO
This is my second brother and my “brother”. My Booda Ope is more of the Daddy figure. My Booda Bolaji is then my older brother. Even though the age gap was damn wide, we still had that big brother-small sister rapport. The day he was going for NYSC, I cried my eyes out. Even my mum was perplexed. I miss him. Very much.
07 ” THE DADDY EXPERIENCE”
While growing up, precisely those days there were long vacations and SU hasn’t come into the picture. I do go to Lagos and stay with my uncle Bayo. Uncle Bayo is a legal practitioner. Awa lawyer. Those days, he do get us meaty gala, and my cousins and I do pretend we’ve slept whenever he comes back from work so he wouldn’t scold us for sleeping late.
It was while with his family, I took a lift for the first time and I can still hear those warnings “If you put both legs at once, the machine will grind you”. If you see me looking shifty while in front of a lift, now you know why.
I had my first camp experience at the Adebayo’s too. It was Foursquare camp and registration had closed but then they had to create space for this cousin from Iseyin. I couldn’t grasp the full essence of camp meetings then as all I could think of was the Ovaltine, milk, biscuits and plenty money Mummy gave us.
Uncle Bayo encouraged my love for books too. On Sundays, we hang around after service while they do Men’s meetings. I think Foursquare is the only church I’ve seen holding regular men meetings.
08 BAAMI ELERO
Baami Elero is my paternal grandfather of blessed memory. He died months ago and I miss him. While writing this, I realized Baami is truly gone. His death came as a rude shock to me. Baami! My Father. My grandfather. My Farmer. A true epitome of Fatherhood. Baami is a rare kind. He didn’t make me feel the absence of Booda Mike too much. I miss you Baami. I wished I could have seen you and hold that discussion before you heeded the call. It’s hard the blows life brings your way.
Baami was there for me. For us all. After the death of his son, he made our happiness his priority. Baami was concerned with our growth. I miss his voice. His aura. His hands. Hands well familiar with nature.
09 IN SEARCH OF A NAME
Recently, I got another gift from Biggie. A father. One to call mine as well. We held our adoption talk some months ago and since then, it has been quite a ride. In the beginning, it was weird. I mean I’ve been used to me, me, me so knowing someone was interested in my welfare came as a fresh bout of relief. His number is still saved with Past Ife and I’m in search of a name. I pray I get a suitable one soon enough.
10 ORE MI SOLOIST
This is courtesy of my friend, Adedeji. You know earlier on in my first post https://farajacraftcircle.com.ng/blog/being-a-fantastic-father-a-mirage-or-a-milestone/, I said being a father doesn’t have to be a function of reproduction. This Deji hasn’t given birth (at least to my knowledge) but he quite cut the father figure. We’ve been friends for a while and looking back, I cherish the association we share. I’ve seen him relate with other people and what I’ve seen strengthened my belief that you don’t necessarily have to birth a baby before you can be a father.
Yes, these are random thoughts about the men in my life. I’m sure if you think deeply enough, you would realize how important the men in your life are. Appreciate them. Flaunt them when you can and make life easier for them.
I know we live in a society with a distorted picture of a man. Well, all men are not saints. I’ve had my fair share of the bad eggs too. I’ve been wary of men too but at the end of the day, I realize I do not have to let a few bad experiences spoil the beauty of the plenty good experiences that abound.
I’ve not been dropping much content here because I’ve been busy with some upcoming projects. Yes, new books are coming and I’m sure you would love them. Do not let today pass without celebrating the men in your life.
Till I come your way again, may the good Lord be with you and yours.