BEING A FANTASTIC FATHER: A MIRAGE OR A MILESTONE?

It’s Father’s Day. That one day dedicated to fathers all across the globe. The other day, I talked about the boy child https://farajacraftcircle.com.ng/blog/the-boy-child/. Today, I want to talk about the man. Yh, every boy grows to be a man. Then a man metamorphoses into a Father albeit not every man is a Father. Being a Father does not necessarily have to do with producing babies from your loins. You may not have done that but yet you are a father. Being a father is work and being a fantastic father is even more work.

A father is a man who indeed lives up to the responsibilities of fatherhood. A man who is committed to seeing the one he calls Child thrive. A man who will nurture the child. A father cultivates and nourishes. He tends and cares. A Father is such a big deal.

Every man who has been privileged to be a Father has had the anxiety of whether he is good enough at one point or the other. Good fathers always want to be the best at what they do. They don’t want to let their wards down. This resolve at perfection tends to give rise to two schools of thought.

The first school of thought believes it is a mirage to be a fantastic father. They see their efforts as not been up to par and so do not stress on cutting the perfect father image. They do what is convenient and their anthem is “I can’t kill myself”.

The second school of thought is those who believe once they perform a particular obligation, they are superheroes. They think that doing that one thing is enough to give them the perfect father figure image.

While I quite agree with both schools, I am not for any. I see fatherhood as a journey and not a milestone. It is not something you wake up one day and stop doing, no Daddy. It’s a forever deal dear Daddy.

Everyone wants a father. Everyone craves that fatherly affection. Years back, there have been days I cried about my Dad even as a full-fledged adult. It’s that deep. I cherish and relive my memories of my father. The days we strolled out, the parties with his friends, our shop, our house, how I got engaged in my first school, and his over care and attention for me. He probably had an inkling we weren’t going to be a team forever hence the overdose of pampering I got. I got so used to him I couldn’t travel for holidays. I just couldn’t part with him.

I remember an incident where I defied that bond between us. I went to Ibadan and stayed for about 48 hours. On the morning of the third day when I woke up, I painstakingly told my host “N lodo Daddy mi” (I’m going to my Daddy). She brushed it aside and went to work. I developed a fever and was vomiting and by the time she got back, I was lying half-dead on the pavement.

She picked me up and headed for the garage. We took the last bus to Iseyin and got home around 11 pm and guess who ran to her daddy. Yes, you’re right. Immediately I got home, showered, and reunited with my Daddy, I became whole. Fully whole. No fever. No temperature. No vomit. I ate heartily and slept soundly on his bed. It was that deep.

To be a father is a privilege. Do not misuse it. Your children are looking up to you. Let them see light in you. Let them see purpose in you. Never let them look for those things elsewhere else they fall into the wrong hands. I took a brief trip to reminisce on the male figures in my life, you can join me here. https://farajacraftcircle.com.ng/blog/random-thoughts-on-father-figures/

Also, I’ll be dropping some more nuggets, tips, and views on Fatherhood. You can view them here https://wa.me/2348173857297